True Confession

visit my new blog at www.ajiedmerican.wordpress.com … c u guys there and kotobian tadau tagazo do kaamatan .. (happy harvest festival ) .. take care everyone. cheers !!

visit my new blog at www.ajiedmerican.wordpress.com … c u guys there and kotobian tadau tagazo do kaamatan .. (happy harvest festival ) .. take care everyone. cheers !!

It’s been raining non-stop for the past few days and today is the 1st day of work after  a long CNYholidays.  I have a wonderful 4 days break and had a wonderful CNYat my cousin place. Went to Carol’s house at Penampang and we managed to see the dragon and lion dance. At 1st i was quite worried for Aleesha coz it is her 1st CNY. But, to my suprise she doesn’t shed a tear or even care about the noised of the drums and firecrackers. And to my suprise, she is not afraid of the lion when it come near her and blinking the big eyes at her. She stay cool the whole 1 hour show.. What a good sport she is. Seriusly, I am so proud of her!

And The MOST happiest news is that she managed to roll over already. I clapped and cheered for her whenever she turn but eventually i’m just tired of doing it coz she roll over like every 10 minutes. hehe..  But, whatever it is i’m still happy that she managed to roll-over or ‘meniarap‘ already .. Way to go Aleesha !! and oh ya , just for the record she’s 4 months and 1 week old with 6.4kg of weight.. Phew.. time really flies huh !!

I’ve upload new pictures of Aleesha today. Picture of her 1st ‘meniarap’ and more of her smiling faces.. Forgot to mention that she love to laugh just like mummy and yup, it’s a loud one!! hehe.. What can i say guys, like mummy like daughter-lah!!! Hehe

That’s all for now- wishing u all .. Gong Xi .. Gong Xi .. Gong Xi Fatt Chai and many happy returns, health, wealth and PEACE !!

CONGRATULATIONS !! <<HUGGIE-HUGGIE to all>> .. Don’t know why but i do get excited whenever i heard there’s a wedding coming. My best buddy of 15 years is getting married on 9th February. I really-really wish i can attend her wedding but with Aleesha around it’s impossible for me to go. I’ve checked with airasia and it will cost me nearly 1K just to fly there.. and it really pissed me off when they even charged a 3 months old baby for a seat that she won’t be sitting - sh*t. Neway emie, i just want u to know that we (my parents and my hubby) are all so so happy for you.*muaahh muaahh*

Few other friends are getting married too this year-how sweet !! remind me of my wedding day-hehe. Just wanna wish u all a wonderful life together and hope you’ll have many-many more happy moments in the future.-like what Doc said - " we have to move on with our life", i guess we all did huh!!

Congrats again to all my dear dear friends and of coz to you to Doc! May god bless.

cheers !!

Hi Guys,

Year 2007 have come to it’s end. New year is approaching. To flash back on the last 365 days -i would like to concluded that it was the most amazing and wonderful year ever. Reasons:

1) 1st January - My WEDDING day

2) 30th January - Found out that i am PREGNANT ..

3) March - Hubby transfer to Sabah - thank you dear for all the sacrifices that you have done.

4) 29th September - Give birth to ALEESHA.

So,Do i have to say more guys?? the past 365 days , every single day have been a new day for me. I’ve experienced new things, experienced, emotions, feelings and not to mention the varieties of size i’ve gone thru.. From 55kg, my weight shoot up to 86kg and now 63kg (and still reducing i hope) - and of course, from being single-than come married-and than a baby .. And all of that in 1 year time.pheww.. how interesting is that? you tell me.. 

I have enjoyed every single day of 2007 and every single moment of my pregnancy days. Aleesha is the WORLD to me and she is just amazing. There are times when i cried a tear or two just by watching her sleep next to me with her cute-angel face. O ya, By the way, Aleesha is 63 days old today and her weight is 5.85kg with height of 63.5cm. The doctor told me that, she’s quite tall for her age. So relieve to hear that coz kind a worry that she’ll be a fatty-boom-boom (that’s what Tok Ba have calling her now).. hehe.

To wrap things up for year 2007 - I would like to say that my life have never been better and i am sure that my life will be more interesting each and every day especially with Aleesha around.So I really-really am looking forward for the whole new 365 days and hope for more greater things in life filled with laughter, joy, luck, health and fortune. Goodbye to the wonderful 2007 and HELLO 2008 !!

Happy New Year Everyone and may you have a GOOD one- Cheers !!

Hi everyone.. I’m back to work again. Thank god I manage to lose my weight quite easy and NO, I don’t do crash diet ok.. I guess my gyna was rite when she told me that I would lose weight easily as I was so huge because of water retention, so I guess she’s rite. After all, she is a doctor, of course she’s rite.. but I still have a few more kg to lose before I can fit to all my clothes.. *sigh!!

What I really want to do is to share to everyone my experience. I have to go thru a lot of unexpected experience but I still consider myself very lucky and thank to my hubby for all his support and to be there for me thru out the whole thing. Even though he have to sleep on the hospital floor every night and not to mention that he have to bear with my ‘sometimes-ridiculous-uncompromised-childish’ behavior.. thank you dear! So, here goes my story ..

3rd Sept – I was in my 36th week when I was diagnosed with Pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH). PIH is a high blood pressure disorder of pregnancy. It has long been one of the major problems for mothers in pregnancy and it affects 5-8% of first time mothers. My gyna detected this when I went for my weekly checkup and all out of sudden I got a high blood pressure and protein in urine + swelling. I was admitted and was about to be induced for delivery the next day. But, I request to be discharged and to get a second opinion from a doctor at hospital Likas. I was discharged the next day and went off to Hospital Likas where once again I was admitted but was released the next day as my blood pressure has reduced and so is my protein in urine.

27th Sept - I went for my checkup and my blood pressure once again shoot up to 150/100 and again I was admitted and was told to bring all my baby stuff along as they’ll have to deliver me before my due date, which is supposed to be on 30th September 2007.

28th Sept -My BP has reduced but not the protein so I was induced twice on that day, and was induced again on 29th September morning. I was ask to fast starting 6am just incase I have to go for caesarean. I was scared at that time as I really, really want to give birth the normal way..but I told myself that I’ll do anything as long as the baby will be ok. After all that is the most important thing rite.

29th Sept at 3pm – The opening of you-know-what was 2cm and the doctor broke my water bag –and that is where the pain started. I pray the whole time and as I was push into the labour room, I can see all the mom-to-be struggling very hard to bear with the pain. I heard them shouting in pain, screaming, crying and other things which I just can’t describe in words. I was put on drips on my left and right hands and I was given oxygen tank (don’t know the medical term for that) to reduce my pain. My contractions come soon after I lay there. I was told to ignore all those noises I heard outside my room and not to scream or shout as it’ll only be wasting energy. So, I didn’t shout or scream but the contractions was the most painful thing ever especially when the contractions come in every 1 minute and I don’t even have the chance to rest and I am in a very-very terrible pain. I asked for Epidural (it’s a pain killer) but the doctor didn’t give it to me as it seems that I can manage without epidural even though I really feel like dying at that time. Instead of epidural, they gave me another type of pain killer. They jab me on both legs and the effects is I become sleepy. So, imagine I have to fight my sleepiness and at the same time I have to push… hmm..still wondering how I did it?

29th Sept around 6pm – To everyone surprise by this time my opening is already 8cm.It was quite fast for a 1st time mother. I was lucky I guess. I push twice when my baby’s head can be seen already and i was about to make the one last hardest push when I realize that my hubby is not around. I stop to push and ask the nurse to call my hubby. So, everyone in the room stopped working and waited my hubby to come. Soon as he arrived and I saw him standing there in front of me, I start to make the last push and at 6.50pm, I deliver to a 3.1kg baby girl. It was the BIGGEST relieve ever. I was SO happy when I heard she cries. They gave her to me to be held and that’s the sweetest moment ever. But I was too sleepy and tired to notice anything. I was about to doze off when I heard a panic voices filling up the room when I didn’t stop bleeding. Blood was coming out –A LOT and it spill everywhere on the floor. The doctor examined me and specialist was called up, they found out that I got a tear in my cervix and I am losing blood a lot and fast. I was in a very critical condition. Blood bank was called up and asked to find and sent blood rite away. Operation room was being alert and I was asked to sign papers regarding the operations and they explain to me about my condition. It’s between life and death as I am losing blood. I just can’t explain how I feel at that time. All I can do is - to leave everything in god hand and pray that everything will be ok.

29th Sept, night time at Operation room – Not sure what is the time when I was brought to the operation room. The 1st thing I realize when they open the door is the cute male doctor waiting for me. How nice. But unfortunately, I was put to sleep and don’t know what happen to me until I was being push back to my room to rest. My mum, dad, hubby and my auntie are all there waiting. It was about 11pm, so I guess the operation took more or less 3 hours. I was put to bed and few minutes later they brought in my bundle of joy-Aleesha Bte Shahril Nizam. As I was holding her, I realize that after all that I have to go thru, she’s worth every single pain. She’s the most beautiful thing I have lay my eyes on.. and the journey of a new life begin ..

So to all of you-mother-to-be out there, I share this story not to scare you guys off but it’s a journey, an experience and a story that I want to remember forever and ever. And one way of doing it is by putting it here in my blog.

All the best to all of you . Be strong and do enjoy every single moment of your pregnancy days as it is the most precious time of all.. I’ve enjoyed mine and hope you will too.. Later everyone ….

Hi everyone,

It’s been quite sometimes since i’ve done this blogging thingy as i’m trying to get used to all the changes that i’ve to go thru and trust me this pregnancy thingy have really changed me but i think it’s for the better so, ok la..

I’m in my 32 weeks today and I’m huge, even my gyna was shocked to see me. hehe.. My baby is doing fine so far, Alhamdulilah-thank god for that. Even though she’s a bit huge (she’s 2 kg already now) and most probably i’ll deliver her at 3.3kg.. Arghhhhhh .. i hope i’ll be ok and please,please, please i really pray that i’ll have a normal delivery..  Do pray for me ok guys!!

It’s been a rough week for me, as my leg starting to get bigger (i really mean big ok), but it does look kind a cute sometimes to have a big foot. .. and no, i’m not saying this to make myself feel better ok.. i really think so !! . But the most irritating part is the itching and scratching that i have to go thru- and yes i even scratch in public (like i care).. hehe. gross huh.. but, i can’t help it. I have to take some drugs to prevent the itch and It makes me sleepy the whole day and i can’t do anything.. but at least the itch have reduce and hopefully it’ll be gone soon..i mean really-really soon. can’t stand it anymore..  help people!!

Baby have been kicking and doing all the acrobatic thingy and it’s a lot of fun to feel her everyday. Can’t wait to see her, wonder how she’ll look like?i hope she’ll have my smile though.. hehe. sometimes i just can’t wait for the moment to come but sometimes just to think about it make me feel scared and nervous.. So to all of u ladies who have experience this before, please give me tips on the delivery part ok.

I am happy to know that few of u guys are also expecting, getting married, and it makes me realised how time really flies. It seems like it was just yesterday we are together in schools/ uni talking about our dreams, telling stupid jokes and make fun out of people and now suddenly everyone is just so….. grow up!! In a way it’s kind a nice and make me miss the good old times..

Well, i wish us all the best in everything that we do!! have fun- life is short keep it real and fun and wonderful as possible.. miss u all and i hope i’ll continue to have a wonderful pregnancy.. another month to go!! be tough baby.. u and me are in this together!! ciao..

Hai again guys.. yup, the wedding is over.It’s a big relief .. Seriously, i don’t think i want to go thru it all over again, the tiring, the pressure and everything is just too much for me! But, alhamdulilah, thank to god, everything went well (except for the rain), but still, if i can turn back the time there’s nothing i want to change- the reception went as plan.

More good news, I am expecting - it’s 7 weeks now and yes guys, i am starting to grow slightly bigger each and every day.. can’t zip up most of the jeans now..arggh..can’t wait for the mega sale to start so that i can buy new clothes. Neway, love the new me- keep on telling the hubby that i want to be pregnant gracefully .. hahaha..is there such a thing?? i wish .. and of coz most of all i want to be healthy for the baby and all. i do get scared sometimes, worry about things, ,about the baby, health, and things that u just don’t expect.. coz u’ll never know what will happen next even if you have try your very best to take care of everything.

Been reading "What to expect when you’re expecting". Luckly my sis left the book at home, it really helps a lot especially when i’m not certain about something or i feel weird,have mix feelings .. etc.the book will be my reference. one thing obvious is that - I’ve become a sleepy head now. I am sleepy all the time .. i go to bed at 9 - 9.30pm wake up around 5.40am .. and by 9, i’m sleepy again!! huh.believe it guys.. i’m growing to be a big whale ..  :0) and yes my dear, i do hope my hubby will still think i’m sexy and all… hehehehe… he’ll just have to be patient with me for the next 9 month. Pity him .. well…

K la, need to go out for lunch with a friend.. till next time. Do pray for my health ya.. ciao!!

Hi everyone,

It’s been quite sometime since I do this blogging thingy. I have less than 3 weeks before my BIG day. Been very damn bz lately and all the wedding preparation i leave it to mum to decide. Just came back from a 5 days outstation trip and just found out that my tailor freak out when i never show up for fitting and all.. and to make things worse, i fell sick and got very high fever with cough , flu and all. And yesterday my eldest and most irritating sister call me up to check on things and i end up freaking out since most of the things she mentioned, i haven’t done -any of it yet .. a few checklist for you guys ok. And since i won’t have the time to d o any of it, i’m looking at it in a different view, i mean i don’t think it’s a MUST for the bride-to-be to do a facial and mandi lulur..(or watever they call it).. rite? please.. like that gonna help and no way it’ll help in making me becoming Ms.Photogenic or anything on the B day rite..so, why waste it.. but seriously, wat do u think? so much for seri pengantin huh??

The worse part from all that is -i can’t sleep at night..  maybe it’s the wedding, maybe it’s the work maybe i’m afraid of being married and good bye to my wonderful, fun bachelor life.. NNoooooOO !! My life is great as it is,i mean- the job, friends, loved one, social life, family..everything is just great as it is. What if after the wedding everything is not the same anymore, or it changed for better, alhamdulilah, but what if it change for the worse?? Myh friends wanted so much for me not-to-get-married, hehe.. pity them..or is it-pity me??

Another 6 days to go before raya, but the raya mood is not ‘here’ yet. The only thing that i look forward about the whole raya thingy is -going to Putrajaya to get my wedding cards. I really, really hope the cards is OK..I’ve been having nightmare since last month about the wedding. The first nightmare is about the makeup lady, the second one is the wedding dress and the most recent one which actually woke me up for sahur is about the card. Well, my fiance said my card is ok- but still, it’s not enuf, i need to see it for myself.. so, the torture will only end by this Saturday.

Going back for raya this year is not much a jolly for me since this is also the time where the wedding card will be distribute to all the relatives and that actually freaks me out. And the worse part is, i can’t spend on new shoes, new handbags and no more new clothes-darn!! all the cash have to be save for  the wedding. It’s not really a problem before since the wedding budget is all done a long,long time ago but what happen is that most of the things are way much too expensive now and i really have to save on some emergency cash-just incase. So there goes all my shopping spree… **sigh**

But still, just to make myself feel better, no clothes, shoes and bags is still consider OK, coz by the 5th raya either my cousin, fareeney or my dear friend Ila will have to bring me to Nilai to buy more things for the wedding. I still need to buy some stuff for the guest favours thingy.. so, maybe it won’t be too bad after all, rite? - i hope so !

well, anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all and Maaf zahir dan Batin.. Any duit raya for me this year?? naaa…i doubt that!! more like me giving it away this time-damn !!